Ep10: How the Persecution Wound is Cockblocking Your Mission and Money

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SINÉAD CRACKNEL: Welcome back to another episode. Yay. On today's episode, I'm going to be diving deep into the persecution wound, and aka the witch wound, last week, I told you a little bit about my experience of this, and I decided that it would be time to dive slightly more deeply into this so that you can understand what it is, how it might be showing up for you, and how it might be influencing and having an impact on your own life, on your own relationships and on your business. So the witch wound, this is what it is, or the persecution wound, some like to call it this old age, age, old spiritual trauma are struck down through lifetimes and lineages, past lives, parallel lives, that keeps you, I women from fully embracing your soul, gifts, your voice, your purpose, what you came here to do, what you came here to share, and who you came here to be, and The persecution wound is very much rooted in old, dying and decaying capitalism and patriarchal culture where those in power, usually men, feared the rising of women and sought to control them their bodies through persecution, abuse, violence and all of the disgusting things. So it this is the same wound. And perhaps you can relate. This is the same wound that has had many women pushing, forcing, hustling, burning the fuck out, going against the very nature of their own being, the very nature of who they are, just so that it could say that they have made it, that they have worked really fucking hard to get everything that they want, that they can work that they have worked really fucking hard to have everything that they have achieved, their dreams, their million dollar revenue, to be seen as though that they fit in and that they've done it all, and they've done it all alone. So it's very much rooted in almost like good girl programming. I've done such a good job, and look at the rewards I have reaped. But it's also very much the same kind of thing whereby we have, as women gone against the grain of Hui being our core and learn to do things like men. This is the same wound that has had women shutting down their voices, not saying what they really want to say, saying yes when they really mean No, saying no when they really really mean yes, giving their power away, abdicating their power, not stepping fully into the truth of who they are. This is the same wound that has had women sacrificing themselves, their own feminine essence, their sexuality, the embodiment of their Caesars and cycles of their natural way of living, being and doing. It's the same wound that has prevented women from actually resting, allowing themselves to rest and receive and to be in their femininity, in their feminine essence. This is the same wound that has banked on women buying into and believing to prevent them from activating even more of their own potency, even more of their own personal power, even more of their own natural gifts and abilities. Because fuck me, ladies, are we intuitive as fuck? Are we gifted and magical as fuck? Like we are, life givers, life breathers, life breeders, like we are so incredible, and the persecution and which wound has stifled us in so many fucking ways, it's the same wound that has thrived on the secrecy of shame and judgment. It has that women have had around their bodies, around what they look like, around their voices, around their emotions, around expressing their feelings and emotions around expressing their secrets, their hidden desires, and they're not so secret and hidden desires around their sexuality. It's the same one that has had women compete against each other. Women compare themselves against other women, the same wound that has had women getting jealous and envious of other women, the same wound that is stopping you and preventing you from taking the action that you know you need to take to be able to do the things that you know you really want to fucking do the things that have been calling to you for years, the words that you've been called to share, the voice that you've been called to express, the music that you've been called to create, the art and artistry that you've been called to create as well, whatever it looks like for you. Perhaps there's one thing, maybe it's the one thing that has been beckoning. You can hear it in every cell of your being has been beckoning you, probably from childhood, if not definitely within your 20s and 30s and beyond, to step into the thing that you have always fucking wanted to do, and that on some level, the persecution and witch wind has. Prevented you from fully owning it, claiming it, and stepping into it. So here are some of the things that I want you to look out for so that you can identify whether the persecution read is playing out for you, how it might be playing out for you, it might be showing up for you in your business and your bank account, and what you can do about it. You have big, gargantuan dreams, dreams that might not make fucking sense to anybody else, and probably don't really make a lot of sense to you, because nobody's ever done them before. You have big dreams. You have dreams of sharing your own gifts and abilities. You have dreams of sharing your knowings and your gifts and your senses and your psychic gifts and your creations and your artistry with the world, but you don't or you do it in bite sized pieces, you drip feed it out into the world, and you shrink yourself. I can't possibly take up this much space. I can't possibly show all of what I have to share with the world all in one go. I can't possibly allow myself to be this fucking magical. You dim yourself. You shy away because you're afraid of what other people might think, what other people might say, what other people might judge, how they might judge you. The likelihood is, is that you are very spiritually aware and very spiritually inclined, and you probably are very curious about what else might be possible you may have or be, and be a hoarder of oracle cards or crystals or tarot cards or things that are spiritual and quote, unquote, woo. You may be really into astrology and things that are quite esoteric in nature, but you have been hiding it. You've been hiding it from your friends. You've been hiding it from your family. You've been hiding it from your co workers, because you don't want to feel like the only person that is into this stuff. You don't want to be seen as the odd bod. Don't want to people be side eyeing you. You want to fit in, and you think that, and you have this it's not that you've even been led to believe, and yes, you quite possibly may have been led to believe that you wouldn't fit in if you allowed yourself to come out of the spiritual closet, so to speak, and talk about these things that you are really passionate about, Food, you have this thought that you will be seen as strange, that you will be judged, or that you will be rejected in some way, I totally get it, by the way I am was that that person, you may carry a deep fear of speaking your truth, being authentic, being heard and understood. You may have shut down your feelings. Shut down your emotions. You may have not wanted to express your feelings, your emotions, or say the things that you really want to say, because you've been afraid, because when you have done it's been received in a way that made you feel less than it made you feel unheard, unseen, unacknowledged, unloved. Maybe you may find yourself people pleasing so as to not rock the boat or upset the apple cart or stand out and be seen as a troublemaker or be ostracized from the tribe and the crowd and the community and all of the things you may often experience, feelings of gout, gout, feelings of guilt, doubt, shame about your own intuitively abilities. You might even want to push them down, push them away, not not express them at all. You could also, conversely, feel really scared shitless about using them. So there might be some fear around using them, because they feel too much, too different, too big, too much, too out there. You may feel disconnected from your body, from your own emotions, from your own cycles and seasons, from your own divinity, from your own feminine essence. You may feel unsupported, unprotected and unprovided for. You may compare yourself to others and feel a deep mistrust, especially around other women,

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and so often, the reason this happens because it goes right back to the. Age old historical witch hunts where women were accused of doing things, seeing things, sensing things, knowing things. Were hunted, were persecuted, and so they started to accuse each other to spare themselves, to save their own lives. So they accused each other, they put each other in the limelight and in the frame so they they didn't get harmed themselves. So this was a way to keep themselves safe, and this can often show up in your business when you are creating content, for example, and you're noticing somebody has written something, and I don't like that, she's fucking full of shit, I'm going to create a piece of content that is completely in response to what that person has just written. Even though it has absolutely fucked to do with you, it's activated something within you that has created this. I need to fucking respond. I need to react. I need to do this thing, say this thing, be heard. Be seen. Be seen to be different. Be seen to be special. Be seen to be unique. I want what she's got. I don't agree with her, but I want what she's got. So all of these things, they're like huge ball of string, tied up and tangled.

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You may fear authority or getting into trouble or causing conflict or saying the wrong thing, or not wanting to speak out, or not wanting to ask questions, or not wanting to say anything express your desires or your wants, and it could be as simple as asking for an apple for dessert, or asking for an extra helping of dessert, or even asking a question, when you're in the superstore, like, How long am I going to be waiting in this line for this person to go and get the cream that they had forgotten to get? And I'm stood here waiting to pay for my shopping, and it's like, what? Oh, 10 minutes has passed, and I'm getting pissed off. I haven't said anything, I haven't asked the question. I'm just getting irate. I rate, and you just sat there, stood there and said nothing, and you're getting angry at the lady who forgot the cream, and you're getting angry at the person who's behind the tail. And the time is ticking away, but you've said nothing. You've not moved, you've not said anything, you've not asked the question. You've just stood there because you don't want to get incorrect. Get in Trouble, you don't want to create conflict, but you're feeling the conflict within yourself. You're feeling the aggravation and the annoyance within yourself, but you say nothing.

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It could be showing up where you experience a lot of sore throats, where you feel a lot of tension in your shoulders and in your neck we have difficulty speaking, where you can't seem to get your words out, or you can't seem to get your words out in a way that are fluid and cohesive and cohesive, and see cohesive and make sense. Or you swallow a lot and there's a lump in your throat, or your voice catches every time you open your mouth. These are all physical signs that your throat chakra has been blocked and locked and potentially had an impact, been impacted by the persecution mode.

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These are signs, some of the signs that you've been experiencing with the persecution mode, and when you experience it, you have yet to overcome it. You have yet to move through it. You have yet to transcend it, and you're allowing it to dictate and define how you show up in the world. Like I shared with you in the last episode, I had a little bit of a wobble, and it stopped me in my tracks,

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but I allowed it to stop me in my tracks, but this is also going to stop you and prevent you from actually becoming a magnetic as fuck in your business, your throat is connected to your heart, your voice is A connection, and it is an expression of your heart. It's going to prevent you from making so much fucking money. It's going to prevent you from doing the things that you came here to do. It's going to prevent you from showing up fully in your power, in your potency, from sharing your gifts, from doing the things that you know you need to be doing for from having the conversations that you know you need. You having this is how it could show up.

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And the persecution wound will prevent you from making the money that you know you're here to make. It will prevent you from becoming financially fortified to be of service to all those fucking people that you came here to support, but not just all of these people that you came here to support, but you, you expressing your desires, you expressing your needs, you expressing your whatever is going on for you. You just expressing yourself, using your voice in a way that is powerful as fuck. The persecution wound isn't just about the voice, it's how you express yourself in written content too. Where are you still holding back in your marketing? Where are you still holding back in your business? Not saying the things that you know you need to be saying, not firing the clients, firing the team members, hiring more team members, just placating and saying, I'm really happy with the work you're doing. I really love working with you, but then behind closed doors, you're like, this fucking bitch is annoying the fuck out of me. I don't want to work with her. I'd rather let her go, but then turning up face to face, nice as pie, saying nothing and still supporting you're abandoning yourself because you don't have the confidence to be able to use your voice and say the things that you know you need to be saying. This is your truth. You get to have it all. It's okay to not want to work with certain people. It's okay to get pissed off at certain people. It's okay to say what you fucking want to say. You don't need to control how other people perceive and receive you. But this is another iteration of how the persecution when the witch wind is going to show up for you, when you're trying to control what it is that's coming out of your mouth rather than just allowing yourself to say the things you know you need to say, I know I'm repeating myself

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when you shy away from using your voice In the way that you know you need to. You don't. You're invisible. You're not going to be visible to the people that you came here to support. And you're also going to be cock blocking yourself from allowing yourself to be supported, because you're not going to feel or experience the confidence to be able to ask, ask for the support you need. Ask for the money you want. This is how you communicate with the Diviners. Through your voice. There is a huge, beautiful energy that is moving through you, the frequency and the harmonics of your voice can change you. It can change the entire world around you. You can create realities by using your voice. You can create so much for yourself by allowing yourself to open your mouth and speak, clearing the throat chakra, clearing the persecution wound. But when you don't, when you continue to give your power away to this, which is probably what your ancestor did through no fault of their own, because they didn't know any other way you are contracted. The body goes into contraction, which is an unnatural state of being. Your natural state of being is expansion. It is abundance. It's It's fluidity and flow when you're stifling and muting your voice when you're censoring yourself when you're not saying the things that you know you need to be saying, You're pushing everything down and everything's contracting and compacting. So there's no room there for fluidity or flow or even creation. So if you're feeling the call to bring out a new service into the world and your business, and you mission into the world. Start building a business. Start sharing your spiritual gifts and abilities, to start serving others, to start doing whatever the it is that you need to do, and you need to use your voice to do it. You're being called to go quite deep. On a deep cellular level, if you're feeling this calling, and it's not going anywhere, and you're constantly hearing it, and you keep pushing it away. You keep pushing it down. You are choosing to ignore the very thing that you know you came here to do. You are part. You are. Here to serve and be of a bigger purpose. So if you keep choosing to ignore it, you're perpetuating the same wound that silenced so many women that continues to silence so many women that's continuing to silence you, that silenced you in past lifetimes, you're still choosing to buy into the same narrative. And the truth is, we ain't got time for that shit. With love, we need you. We need you to stand in your power. We need you to say, do the things that you came here to do, to say the things that you came here to say, to stop buying into the persecution wound, because it continue when we continue to buy into the same thing, the same thing keeps happening, cause and effect, the law of cause and effect every time we choose to opt into the good girl, I've been a really good girl, and now I get my reward, because continuing to perpetuate the same cycle, law of course, and effect,

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I get how hard it is, and it doesn't go away. We just have to accept the fact that this is something that we get to move through and transcend and elevate beyond little by little, as we step more and more into our power, there is no end goal. This is a marathon. It's a journey. It's not a fucking sprint. You're going to get from A to B in X amount of minutes. This is a beautiful, colorful, bountiful journey. Should you allow it? Should you accept the invitation to embark on this journey? So let me talk to you about how the persecution wound and the good girl are linked. So for me, when I was younger, there was this saying children are meant to be seen or not heard. And as young girls and as a young girl, I was very much meek, mute and humble. I was very much the kind of person who wouldn't necessarily say anything to anybody. I would push everything down. I would keep stump. Only time that I would use my voice is when I was three shoots to the wind, when I was drinking alcohol, because that's when, that was the only time I felt comfortable and confident to be able to be to use my voice, which is a very toxic way to use your voice as well, right? With regards to the good girl programming, it's like, if I'm a really good girl and I stay silent, I'm going to get everything that I want, because that's what's happened to women throughout the ages, and potentially to you too in your childhood. If you're really good, you're going to get some dessert. If you're really good, I'll take you out for a treat. If you're really good, even this whole I'm sorry to anyone who doesn't but who still believes in Father Christmas? That's sad, of course, but even this, have you been a naughty person, or have you been a nice person? Because nice person get everything that they want, aka, if you've been good or bad, have you been a good girl? Have you been a good boy? Then you could get all the presents you ever wanted that are on your list. If you've been naughty, you get fuck all. You might get some brussels sprouts, if you're lucky, it's the same thing. When we continue to choose this for ourselves, we're choosing it for everyone. What happens on the micro happens on the macro. So what's happening internally will happen externally. And the more that we perpetuate this story within, the more that we will see it outside of ourselves, which will keep us trapped in where we are. It will keep us stuck in old paradigms, in old loops and cycles of the same shit on a collective level,

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it's time to move beyond this. It's time to give yourself permission to move beyond this. It is safe. It's not even about giving yourself permission. It's about feeling safe to do it. It's about holding yourself, containing yourself, nurturing yourself, and telling yourself I got you. I got my own back. I'm safe to speak. I'm safe to say what I need to say. I'm safe to share my gifts. Of the world. I'm safe to take that fucking leap. I'm safe to go in the direction where nobody else has fucking been before. And then remind yourself every time the fear comes up, remind yourself of all the times that you've done that thing, having children, moving house, getting in the car in the morning to go to a destination, go to a workplace, go to wherever the fuck you're going, like really going out on the road. You're literally taking a leap of faith by going, getting into your car and going out in the world, because you don't know what the fuck is going to happen. I'm kind of going off piste from the persecution wound, but it's all connected. If you see yourself in anything that I have shared right now, this is your invitation to dive deeper. This is your invitation to reach out to me, to support you, to clear this, to dissolve it, to step into more of your power and leadership energy to get everything, everything that you fucking want. And if it isn't me, that you decide to reach out to then reach out to somebody else. Use your voice. Ask for support. Allow yourself to receive that support. Open your throat and what

Speaker: 00:26:31

I've shared with you so far is very, very much been oriented toward many of you that have yet to take action in the direction of your purpose, of your dreams, and you may relate and resonate with a lot of what I've already shared, but I want to kind of reorient the episode and move in the direction now of if you are already running and owning your own business, how this is going to be showing up for you? And it is very much related to what I've already shared. But I'm really going to get succinct with what it is and how it shows up for you in your business right now. So the fear of being visible or successful you may be avoiding stepping into leadership roles, taking the role that you know you were meant to be taking, speaking and saying the things that you know you're meant to be speaking and saying, being in the spotlight, getting visible public, publicly promoting your business in a different way, in a way that feels uncomfortable, in a way that's kind of moving away from what you've already been speaking about, perhaps when that fear of being visible and or successful, here's The thing, most people think that they're afraid of failure, bullshit. Most people are afraid of being successful. They're afraid of being in the limelight. They're afraid of what that success might lead to. So there is a fear that the success will lead to criticism, to jealousy, to judgment, to shame, to blame, to guilt, to attack from others, and this is how the persecution wind will show up for you. So you keep yourself small, you hide yourself, you hide your true self, you play downplay your talents, you downplay your gifts, you downplay your expertise, because of the fear that being authentic will activate and trigger this judgment or persecution from your peers, from your family, from your clients, from your competitors, from your whoever you name it. So what you're really doing is self sabotaging. You're unconsciously holding yourself back from achieving your full potential, from having the things that you really fucking want to have, because your fear of success is greater than your fear of actually owning all of who you are.

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You fear that the greatest success you have will bring negative attention. It will bring backlash. It will bring it will kind of feeling of being too much for others to handle to get a hold on. So I'm going to actually share a little story with you right now. When this is a personal story, when I moved to Ireland, I had one person that I was very, very close to, and I had built a relationship over a number of years, and this person was like my sole point of contact when we arrived and I hadn't seen them for a little while. Uh, and we had gone for something to eat, and we sat and we had something to eat, and there was something that was being said at the dinner table to a young girl that activated a memory for me of my childhood, and it brought so many fucking aha moments me. I was like, Okay, this is a really good this is a really good thing for me to share socially, on social media, to talk about and bring into my business, because I know that this is going to help so many people, because I know that this is what I have experienced as well. And so I shared it. It had nothing to do with the person I was with. It had nothing to do with the little girl. It had nothing to do personally, with those people that were involved in my kind of aha and insightful moments, and yet me getting visible, saying the things, the lessons, the gifts that the goals that I had taken away from this experience activated that person to the point where they verbally attacked me on social media and personally behind closed doors. And this led to the disbanding of the relationship entirely. Now this is a person that I have known for absolutely years. This was the only person that I was like, connected with in Ireland, and the relationship is no more because I said my truth, I spoke my truth. I shared what I was experiencing. I saw it as an opportunity to share things that I had experienced, because I knew that was going to help fucking loads of people, and it did. I showed up, I spoke my truth, and I received attack, abuse, and then lot of a friend, but I still did it, and I didn't apologize for it, because I knew it was my truth. It was my truth, it was my truth. It was who I am. It's how I wanted to show up in the world. It was my experience. It's how I perceived things. It was through the lens of my own eyes. There was no judgment, no shame, no blame, no anything. It was like, oh, fuck me. I remember that happened to me, and this is what I did to move through it.

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Now I could have gone into I can't possibly share this, even though it's like, I've got, I need to share this, like this whole bodily, splenic and bodily urge to share all of the things, because I knew that this was something that was so much bigger than me, and so I showed it.

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The relationship hasn't been repaired. We haven't spoken since. It was painful as fuck, but I did it anyway, otherwise the persecution win can show up for you and your business overworking to prove yourself to avoid criticism or rejection or pushing yourself to over, deliver over, accommodate, prove your worth, even at the cost of your own well being, burning out, avoiding the fear of being persecuted for not doing enough. Oh, you've not done enough today. How very dare you have to say a gazillion hours to make up for it and get paid shit money for it? Is it worth it? A reluctance to assert your own boundaries, saying, This is what I want. This is what I'm available for. This is not what I'm available for. This is where my non negotiables lie, out of fear of being labeled difficult, selfish, demanding. This is how the persecution wound can show up for you in your business. It may prevent you from setting clear boundaries with your clients, with your vendors, with your team members, which can often lead to a shit ton of resentment. And when you have resentment, it's cock blocking you from creating way more money in your business, it puts the body into contraction rather than expansion, reluctance to innovate or even Avoiding innovating, or taking risks doing things that make absolutely no fucking logical sense to anyone else but you, and probably not even you either a little bit like what I was saying to you earlier, doing something different and pioneering, because anything that's a little bit outside of the box may provoke attack, harm, criticism or. Rejection. But then on the flip side of the coin, there's resentment abandonment of yourself, of your own choices, of your own decisions, of your own ideas, fear of taking up space, fear of leadership, fear of thought, leading, saying the things you know you need to say. I think I've had that on repeat throughout this entire episode.

Speaker: 00:35:28

Persecution, we can stop you from talking about money, from earning more, because you're consciously and unconsciously pushing it away. Can't possibly have that much money. I can't put what will people think? They already think I'm an asshole. They're going to think I'm even more of an asshole if I start telling people how much money I earn, undercharging, undervaluing your services, over accommodating, people might think that you're greedy or selfish, or judge you because you've got a shit ton of money and you don't work for very long hours. Another way that the persecution wound can show up. I mean, it's just insidious guilt around money, feeling guilty for having or wanting more money, especially if you've been conditioned to believe that wealth equals power, greed, evil, fill in the blank, avoiding conversations about money. So how do you change all of this? How do you alchemize this into pure fucking gold. You take the leap. You do the things that you know you need to be doing. You lead with authenticity. You claim your fucking worth. You raise your standards. You set empowered boundaries. You own your success. You own your failures. You owe all of who you fucking are. You embrace visibility with courage. You choose who you wish to respond to and who you do not, because not everybody gets access to you, to your energy, not everybody is deserving or worthy of a response, releasing Shame, shame and guilt, embracing your power, your leadership, and trusting that everything that you desire is already yours, and that you would have no notion or idea or vision of any of it if, on some level, it wasn't already available to you, and it hadn't already accomplished it when you're ready to transcend, move through the persecution wound and take up even more space and do the things that you know you came here to do, and make the fucking money that you know what you want to make, and create the innovations that you know Want to create, and lead the movements and the legacy that you are being called to lead you. Hire me. Join the mailing list. The link is below. Reach out on social media if this episode has piqued your interest and you desire for someone to lead you through this until next time. Thank you for listening.